Growing up is tough. Exploring individuality and establishing independence are both a huge part of it. Combine that with the psychological importance of a teenager having a space to call their own and suddenly the conversation over their bedroom becomes an uber important one.

Many parents struggle with choices that deviate from the style of the rest of the house. The introduction of a dark colour in an otherwise neutral space. Or glitz and chintz in a minimalist space. And yet if you are dictating the style then you are still exerting your preferences onto them at a time when they need to explore their own. What really matters is that the values of the household/family are upheld in this space. So if promoting drug use or violence would not be tolerated as a family then it’s a no to posters that do the same.

That said it is understandable that you might not love the idea of a whole room being painted black. This is when you need to express your views clearly and then ask your child to tell you more about theirs, encouraging them to think creatively around their options too. For example “I’d rather you didn’t paint your whole room black because it makes the house feel too dark. Is there another colour you’d be happy with or perhaps you could just paint one wall black? Do you have any other ideas?”

Pinterest is a great way to support and encourage their creativity and ideas whilst also adding your own. Building a board together can encourage discussion and finding solutions so that you get to a final style that you are both happy with (or can at least live with!).

Perspective is perhaps the most useful tool here as a parent. At the end of the day there is a door you can shut, paint you can one day paint over and helping your teenager express themselves is a gift you can give them on their way to adulthood.